Are You Exhausted Spiritually?

Whenever you are exhausted....visit this link (specifically Feb 9th).

Do Not Panic

So we have been at this "attachment thing" for ten years now. For those of you following our lives or our blog....you know that we seem to have/have made great strides.

It has not been easy. Far from it. It is still not easy. Far from it.

We have failed again, and again, and again. We have gotten up again, and again, and again. We have seen healing again, and again, and again.

For a very long time I was very worried about Girlie's academics. She is the kid who bombed every standardized test (we home-educate) put in front of her....always scoring 2 levels or more behind where public schooled children of her own age would place. PANIC!!!!!!!!!

She is the kid who needed to read books twice...once alone and again w/me...so as to pick up on not only the nuances but the over all themes as well.

Not anymore! At fourteen...she is thrilled to have recently gotten a B on her Saxon Algebra 1/2 Progress Report...and an A on her Johnny Tremain unit. These grades were not given by me...but by co-op teachers. HUGE news for Girlie!!!!!!!!! She is quite proud of herself and we are proud of her.

Girlie has not figured out her passion yet. It may be horses? It may be dance? So far...she is not excelling in any area. We do not have a horse...work w/horses....or play w/horses. The rest of our family could give a flying hoot about being near horses...CONVENIENT HUH??????........... & although she is in dance classes
twice /week....she is not naturally graceful. Hard working? Yes. Graceful? Not so much.

Being the insightful writing teacher I am (co-op IEW)...I assigned our class a 5 Paragraph essay....My Passion. This sent Girlie into a spiral.

( I kinda knew it would....there is usually a method to my madness.)

After talking through it...she decided her possible passions weren't yet passions...but areas of interest.

Her passion is ....Being A Good Student.

And, her essay is well written.

And, as we think about standardized testing (first time in 5 years?)...I am not having a heart attack.

Do not PANIC.

Be consistent. Strive for excellence...while allowing grace to cover imperfections.
Slow & Steady.

Can't wait to hear more about the conference Cate went to.

Over in our Book List...you'll find Sensational Kids. Lots of ah ha moments for me. Lots of practical advice. I highly recommend the read.

Check your local library before purchasing because I would much rather you call in respite & spend the $$$$$$$$ on a pedicure & a latte.

I'm thrifty that way :)

The Connected Child

First, I want to say I am sorry for the long silence. I've been here, sort of. ;) We are working through some pretty major stuff over here..... more on that soon.

Now! I have been wanting to share some of the new nuggets I learned at a Karyn Purvis conference. She is one of the author's of the Connected Child. WOW! It was so encouraging. Last year, I wrote a bit about this book. It is one I recommend to Christian parents because within the secular world of attachment theory, it is highly practical. It also, unlike others, hints at biblical truth. I want to share lots of things from the conference, but this is the one that was so surprising.

She immediately began speaking of the Lord! She referenced the Shema and spoke about the Lord wanting us mind, body and spirit and ministering to the wounded child completely, mind, body and spirit. She speaks about kindness, playfulness and a zero tolerance for disrespect. You can read more of her heart here.

more to come when I have a free minute. Gotta get dinner on. :)

Girlie has gotten very good at identifying her feelings. It's taken a long time. She's had much practice.

Me: Yes, yes...so and so is true. You did do that. But I do not believe it is because of such and such like you are saying it is.

Multiply this scenario by 100 million times.... plus more....then some more. This is some of what life over the last 10 years has been like.

__________________________________________
We are currently in a good place.

Girlie: I did such and such because.....

This is when she is met w/my "don't even try to go there w/ your lame nonsense excuses..."all knowing/baloney detector" lOOk.....


Girlie: (loooooooooong pause)..............

....after a few minutes in a quite place to ponder..........

Girlie: I was feeling like I was going to blow it...(chuckling at herself)... so I blew it...(then realizing)...yeah ummm....that didn't go so well.

or

Girlie: I was worried because I knew you were going to read my essay and I didn't want to do a re-write which I knew you would make me do...(then realizing)....which of course I had to do so why not just do it w/out the drama?

or

Girlie: I had a lot to do and I was scared I wouldn't finish...(chuckling at herself)...which is what happened because I dragged it out and caused drama....which obviously didn't work for me at all.

or

Girlie: I know they think I'm the center of attention all the time (chuckling at herself)...so I acted like the center of attention...(then)...aaaaaaaand...obviously that didn't go so well and I proved them right.

Again, slow and steady.

Consistency.

Love in Central Park

Hell on Earth

UPDATE:

Things are better. Downward spiral lasted 7 hours.

Better than 7 days :)

_____________________
That was our day today. Hell on Earth.

Children Underground

Depending on where your kid/s have come from...or are at...this may be a good film to watch as a family. It opened the door for lots of conversation over here.


"It's sad. It's not fun to see. It's not enjoyable. It's a horrible state. I feel bad for those kids. I would hate to be like that. I'm glad I live with you guys. I feel really thankful to have you guys. I wish that could happen to them. I'm praising the Lord that I have you guys. I'm glad that I have protection and discipline...because that shapes you, you know?" Girlie 1

"I can't explain it in words. If I talk, I'll cry." Girlie 2

The Lord appears to have used this film in softening/opening hearts.

It's raw. It's harsh. It's authentic.

Real Tears

Last nite we watched My Sister's Keeper. Not my favorite film...for a few reasons...mostly worldview stuff...but that's a whole different story.

The reason My Sister's Keeper will remain in my memory is what I want to talk about here.

I'm a crier. My husband is a crier. We have no problem showing our emotions.
There we were in the den...us...our three daughters and a family friend...all crying at the end of the film.

ALL crying. Tears flowing.

Even GIRLIE!!!!!!!

That was a first. She has never ever cried while watching a film before. What she used to do was sit staring at us blankly as if we were crazy people for crying.

What she did last night was shed appropriate tears while coming to me for comfort. She wanted hugs while agreeing with me that "the story was sooooooooooooooooo sad."

HUGE.

Baking Love

my daughter did this accidentally with her tongue. :)

Ask the Lord

Through all the ups and downs. Through all the turmoil and heartache...through every single monstrous moment of hell on earth where rejection & loneliness tempt to reign....there has been a deep connection. A connection on my end...that keeps me closely tied to the one who seems to reject me. I remember telling a girlfriend once..."I love all of my kids. All of them. But, this one....there is a special place in my heart for this one."

If you do not have a special spot...ask the Lord to give you one. He is able. He is faithful to provide.

Here's the hard question:

Are we hardening our own hearts towards this child?

Repost / The Long Haul

I felt led to repost

Great Attachment Website

UPDATE:


For me...the discovery of this site was exactly what I needed at the time. Learning about the subtypes was eye opening and helpful...especially when dealing with individuals who don't necessarily fit into what the world "thinks" RAD looks like.

They've made some changes over time...to their website...going deeper with explanations etc.

Thumbs up.

Dawn
__________________________

This website has come up several times on various blogs and sites recently. I think it is very practical and concise. It was encouraging, too, because some of the concepts or tips were new and some were things we've done because the Lord revealed those things in the moment. (e.g. we very clearly talking about family behavior vs. orphanage behavior). Still picking through it and thought if you haven't seen it yet, you would like it.

Attachment Disorder Maryland

Happy New Year

Okay...here's my wisdom 10 years in:

Slow and steady wins the race....put one foot in front of the other...never EVER give up...husbands & girlfriends are necessary...two steps forward one step back...today is a new day...fear not...repent...forgive.

Buckle Up

Merry-go-round...roller coaster...whatever.

Let's buckle our seat belts and enjoy the ride...cause we're on it.