Gut Instinct

This is an interesting article about a mom who had a gut instinct which helped her son.

Early Childhood Neglect Study

The Lord is bigger than any fears we can dream up.  Press on.

article

Sleep Training

Good article.

I know I've posted on this before...but we never ever ever let any of our children cry it out.  It never even occurred to us.

This article reminded me of all the Dr. Ezzo / Growing Kids God's Way craziness all those years ago.

For goodness sake...if your child is crying....attempt to soothe him/her.

Meet their needs and then a whole bunch more.

Christian Adoption

Christian Adoption: Disavowals and Affirmations by John Piper

#9   Christian adoption disavows the romantic notion that the challenges of adoptive parenting are small or painless, and the naïve notion that the human flourishing of an adoptive child is guaranteed by sufficient parental love.

Rather, we affirm that all parenting is painful and most adoptions are preceded by some measure of trauma that affects a child’s maturing later on, and makes the challenges of parenting all the greater (Proverbs 10:1; 17:25).

Abuse in Russian Orphanage

The video is graphic...but a MUST SEE for all those parenting children from institutionalized settings.

Not only were the basic needs of our children not met in early childhood...but many of our kids dealt with much more.


Cry out to Jehova Rapha...the Lord, our healer.

And point your children to Him...their Creator.

Hugs

"Hugs have been scientifically proven to have a calming effect on people, especially those with PTSD, autism or under high stress. "

See this link.

Some kids like and desire hugs.  Some don't. 

They probably all need them. 

This might be of help to parents.

Happy Birth Mother's Day

Thanks Ladies.  Your choice to birth these kids of ours deserves a standing ovation.  And infinite curtain calls.

SICK story

This is one of the sickest stories I've ever heard in the adoption world.

you are a great mom

but you make a horrible savior

Post Adoption Depression

See this article.

I do believe this is far more common than anyone is talking about.  

The enemy likes secrets.  

He thrives on secrets.  

If you are struggling...tell someone you trust.  Tell your husband first...and then tell your mom, a friend or a pastor.  

The road to healthy attachment will be bumpier if you are living with depression.

And...I believe the Holy Spirit is in the business of sometimes moving like the wind...whispering what He wants us to hear in little gentle breezes and strong gusts...sometimes all in the same week.

Re-visit this message...if depression is an issue for you.

Adoption Anxiety

Read this .......from Dr. Voddie Baucham.

It's a minefield of Wacky Theology out there.   Parents Beware.

You MUST listen to this/ Mental Health Issues!!!!!!!!

...ADD... ADHD...  Bipolar...  Anxiety...  PTSD...  Depression...etc.  etc.  etc......and I would include RAD.

Dr. Voddie Baucham

With 6 adopted kids????...the Bauchams must be dealing with attachment issues.  I would be pleasantly surprised if they weren't.

"A psychiatric disorder is NOT a medical disease."   

"You do not have a medical diagnosis."

"Whatever you are facing is not bigger than a dead Jesus.  And if the power that raised Christ from the dead is available to you...how dare you be hopeless."

Listen till the end.

I am so thankful that our pediatrician had this same mindset all those years ago.  And, that the 2 very honest specialists she referred us to...concurred.

Isolation Road

Hi Friends....long time no communication.

We've been at this for 13 years and it's probably been one of our worst seasons yet.  We are in the thick of it.

This article sums up exactly how the other family members are feeling.

It must be a lonely road...this road of isolation.

Done w/Discipline

The Lord spoke very clearly to me last week.  Not audibly....but clearly :)

I have communicated to Girlie and to the rest of the family that my days of disciplining are over.  No more discipline from Mom ever.  

(A reminder...Girlie is 17 and we have been at this for 13 years now...also much of the resistance is exhibited towards me during the day...every single day...not Dad.)

I will continue to address sin.  

I will continue to call it what it is.  

I will continue to validate others....when offenses come their way.  

I will continue to affirm that sin breaks relationships.  Especially habitual sin.   Habitual unrepentant sin.

I will continue to remind Girlie that true repentance is a turning from sin.  A changing of the mind about it.  A turning of the heart.  And that anything other than that is a bunch of bull.

I will no longer do ^^^^^  all of that with emotion attached to it.

I will no longer remind or encourage or demand that school work gets done.

There are plenty of people in the world who drop out of school....unless she takes ownership of her academic life...she may be one of them.

I will no longer remind...encourage or demand that chores get done.  

The rule is...you want to live in this house...you act like a family member.

You don't act like a family member...the other family members have to pick up your slack or pay the consequences for your dishonor, selfishness, and laziness.  They notice and relationships are broken.

When freak outs or melt downs or tantrums occur...I will politely remove Girlie from the presence of her siblings.  She is not the center of my universe or theirs.  She will be reminded that people do not want to hang out with people who act like the center of the universe.  And that such behavior damages relationships.

I will continue to feed and cloth and house and provide health care and dental care and fun things like recreational activities...movies...candy...jewelry...nail polish...a home library of great literature...froyo...bikes...rollerblades...dance lessons...a piano...a computer...an ipod...beach visits...museum visits...vacations...back scratches...etc. etc. etc....even if I am treated like a piece of garbage and never once appreciated and taken advantage of by her.  

I told Girlie that she is the Lord's to do with as He will.

He is her Creator and He is more than capable of disciplining her as He sees fit.  

Or not.

I'd be afraid.  

Incentives Update

RADishes really sabotage everything. I plead with her to let me shower her with blessings and she spits on them. The iPad is not the incentive it would be for a typical child. However, it is still something I can tempt her with. She certainly wants it, even if she doesn't let on.

We had reached a bit of a lull. I encouraged her that she could pick an app to add after reaching an academic goal. We'll see.