Oh my!!!!!!!!!! this article.
I feel as if our whole entire life just flashed in front of me. NO-ONE was talking about this in our circles...13 years ago.
We felt so alone for so long.
One thing I know. The Lord is up to something. He is at work. He is doing something. It's a move of the Holy Spirit.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Oh my!!!!!!!!!! this article.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
This is an interesting article.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
What to expect when you show your child video footage of themselves prior to your adopting them?
Footage that exposes it all.
Well, not all.
If you are anything like our family you should expect a full blown out of control spiral.
Lots of pain and anger to process through.
She hasn't even identified the viewing yet as the core issue.
But it couldn't be more obvious.
Classic PTSD (alongside RAD). Forgetting every single little thing...zero concentration. Irritability & angry outbursts. Hyper vigilant.
Here is the trigger that she is as of yet unaware of.
While in the orphanage Girlie was made to perform.
For 4.5 years...every time she wanted something from the caregivers...she performed.
Every time the adoption liaison arrived to video the children she was working hard to find families for...she would perform.
It's all on film.
It's absolutely ridiculous the way she was required to perform. It's disgusting.
It makes me heartbroken for her.
We will not allow our daughter to walk in that mentality any longer. Even so, she struggles with needing to perform at all times. Still. 13 years home.
Since Day One we have encouraged her away from this bondage.
She is corrected and even disciplined when necessary...as she chooses to walk in this temptation.
Well, long story short...seeing herself as a baby and a toddler...performing like a friggin monkey in a poor man's circus has done a number on her. And ever since...she has been trying her hardest to perform...for everyone and anyone who will give her a glance.
She tried it with us. But we were having none of it. Moms, Dads, and siblings don't need to perform for one another. In fact, it's insulting to think it necessary. Offensive even.
And when you are dead set on performing and winning others over by your performances...let's say...wooing family friends...relatives...peers...neighbors...because if you don't you feel as if you could literally DIE...
...and that attempt at control is removed from you by the simple instruction...
"Do not speak unless you are spoken to."
...well...the entire world becomes a frightful place all over again and the need to control it threatens to overpower you.
The trigger in a nutshell.
It's like an elephant smack in the middle of the melt-down.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
good blog post...goes for RAD too.
There is a flip side however. Sometimes, as parents dealing with attachment issues...we can go overboard with the not wanting our kids to engage inappropriately with others ...or visa versa...though.
It's because we know that many times they are being superficial.
And that they engage with every Tom, Dick, and Harry while out and about BUT not with intimates at home.
That they are trying to win random strangers or Joe Shmo acquaintance's approval.
This attempt of theirs is not only a grab for attention...but a grab for control. Controlling their environment...even to the point of attempting to control others perception of them...is a huge temptation.
As parents...we want to train and guide our kids...in the ways we see fit. The ways we believe will most benefit them in the short term and in the long run. We want to protect them.
One of the hardest things to do is to let go and to sit back and watch. And to allow natural consequences to play out in the lives of our struggling kids.
When others do not think it's so cute anymore as a child/tween/teen refuses to stop nonsense chattering about NOthing.... when a child/tween/teen is constantly disregarding other people's personal spaces and hangs a littletoocloseforcomfort...or isolates in uncomfortable and strange attention seeking ways...when self control & self awareness are lacking in a child/tween/teen...etc...etc.... etc.
We can tell them until we are blue in the face why A B or C is inappropriate or when enough is enough...but in my experience...a handful of incidents where others catch on and have had enough...and get to the point of mentioning something...well....those sorts of moments speak volumes.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
To be honest...the last thing I wanted was for Girlie to touch me. After the week we had...even the feeling of having her anywhere near me was something I needed to drum up.
Once the thought entered my head though...it wouldn't leave.
Even if she's pushed and pushed and pushed you away....bring her close... pull her close.
I needed to make a choice.
Instead of walking in my flesh...I submitted to the Holy Spirit and asked her to do my feet.
By "do my feet" I meant...take off my old chipping nail polish with nail polish remover and attempt to get off the beach tar while she was at it...pick a color ...any color...and doctor them all up again nice & pretty.
She chose this pretty shade of lavender.
So that my feet could match her feet.
Love... it's a verb.
Added benefit...a pedicure was the perfect wrap up to my crappy week ;)
Monday, August 5, 2013
The enemy of my soul...the enemy of my family members souls...wants nothing more than to wreak havoc and cause division.
He is completely opposed to unity. He wants to separate. He is like a lion prowling around waiting to pounce. Waiting to devour.
He wants to devour Girlie.
Over my dead body is He going to win.
I've got a victorious Lord and I've got Ephesians 6.
His ass is grass.