Friday, January 30, 2015

Broken You

This message.

Monday, January 26, 2015

The Gift of Friendship / Guest Blogger / Galilee

My mom and I have had many conversations about what true friends are.

About the authenticity of a friend and the honesty of a friend.  How real friends don't put up facades.   A facade is having a fake personality when you don't want others to know the real you. I'm kinda in the midst of dealing with the fact that I struggle with putting up facades.  I am trying to break down the walls I put up.  My mom found a friend quote that says, "A friend is someone who can see the truth when you're fooling everyone else." I have friends who can read right through me when I think I am fooling them.   Some friends are quiet and patient with me and I appreciate that.  One in particular has been through thick and thin with me.  She always points me to the Lord.  Love her for that.  Some are bold truth tellers and call me out on my sin.  I recently experienced someone who wasn't a family me like a book. This person has high discernment and is a bold truth teller.  I consider this person to be a true friend.  This person isn't satisfied with the "fake me."  At first I felt trapped by the questions being asked and very exposed. Then I realized that sometimes the truth needs to come out hard.

The Lord is graciously working through faithful family and friends by having them push me into hard places.  I am also sitting under Godly teaching about Friendship at my church and Bible Group. I am being convicted of my fake personality.  I am truly grateful for all the true friends God is providing for me.  

Friday, January 23, 2015

Psalm 84:11 / Guest blogger Galilee

Last week I went outside of my parents protection sneakily by trying to find out how I could get online information about my birth mother.  My mom figured me out instantaneously.  However, she didn't tell me she had me figured out.  She told me to stop lying because I lied like 10 times in like 5 minutes and told me to go think about what I was feeling and to tell the truth.  The truth is that I was feeling nervous about bringing up the conversation because I didn't want to hurt my parents feelings by making them feel like my curiosity meant I didn't love them or something like that.  I do love them very much.  I wanted to see if I could find out if I had any of the same characteristics as my birth mother.  Characteristics like physical ones... and abilities, talents, behavioral ones, emotional ones etc. I realized I wasn't satisfied with the amount of information that my parents had given me and I wanted to find out more if there was more to be found.  Very manipulative, wretched on my part, I had plans to use my dying Mormon neighbor to get the job done.  She's doing genealogy work and I pretended to want to bond over adoption stories since she herself was an abandoned child and is an adoptive parent.  The way the Lord is working through all this is by convicting me of my sin and having me trust in what He's provided for me, like the amount of information I do have and parents who share it all with me.  My mom reminded me that it's okay to talk about my adoption story...which they talk openly about all the time...and ask's just that I was weird about it for some reason. My mom and I also discussed that I may never know if I am like my birth mother and I have to be satisfied with that. 

My mom reminded me to go through in my mind all the ways that the Lord has been good to me.  

He gave me life.  He protected me in the womb.  He provided doctors & a shelter for me in the hospital.  He provided an orphanage.  He provided an orphanage worker to see me as a survivor and a thriver and she looked for a way for me to be adopted.  He gave me a loving family.  He gave me a Christian family who directs me to the Lord. He's given me a home.  Siblings.  Education. Good nutrition.  Solid teaching.  Opportunities.  

I was stuck in the mode of thinking about what I didn't have pre-adoption. What a waste of time.  And such unnecessary drama which hurts me and those around me.

Another way the Lord is working in me is by having me question whether I'm walking rightly or not.  Not just me thinking everything He withholds must not be good.  

For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory.
The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.
Psalm 84:11.


Monday, January 12, 2015

On Mission

I have been contacted by three different mothers living in three different states raising kids adopted on three different continents in the past three days.  No lie.

Last month...I was contacted by an adult adoptee...w/attachment struggles.  This woman is a long time acquaintance of mine.  After ten plus years ...she began the process of opening up and shared a little of her heart with me.   How brave!   I didn't even know that her life had been touched by adoption until now.  Never came up. 

And...I received a very transparent text from a humble adoptive mother looking for suggestions.  Anything that might work.  Ideas to bring peace into the home. 

ALL of these women are Christ followers.

They ALL want to make godly choices.   They ALL want to navigate very difficult terrain with the fear of the Lord as their guide.

I have come to learn this...

...look for where the Lord is working...and carry on the work there.  In that place.  

Friday, January 2, 2015


This film was difficult to watch.   5 minutes in...I actually said to my husband ..."I don't know if I can handle this."

As painful as it is...I do believe it should be watched.  Even more so if your life has been touched by adoption or foster care.

We previewed the film...then watched with our girls.

There was a lot of silence during and after.

Much to ponder. 

I will leave you with this spoiler...HOPE prevails.

verb: prevail; 3rd person present: prevails; past tense: prevailed; past participle: prevailed; gerund or present participle: prevailing
prove more powerful than opposing forces; be victorious.