Intentional Friendships

Parents, we must choose our kid's circle of friends wisely.  It is our responsibility to surround them with as many healthy relationships as possible...and see what blossoms. 

Teach your child to be a good friend.   

Work thru trouble to the best of your ability....but if trouble continues to follow....bow out gracefully.  

Sadly, some of our kids are attracted to that one in particular who will most likely not return their affection.

Focus their attention elsewhere.  

Support Groups, too

YAY! Thank you, Dawn!  I know things had been quiet here for awhile.  I was sitting down to share some of the crazy in our world and was so happy to see Dawn had.  There is so much swirling in my head that I want to share and will soon.  But the support group was huge last weekend.  We know what it's like to feel alone. . . for many this once a month group is all they have.  If you are feeling alone, join a local yahoo adoption board.  Not everyone there will have attachment issues, but maybe the Lord will use you to start a local group.  Just put it out there... anyone struggling with attachment want to meet at the park?  

and remember, we are always here.... for those local and afar.  

Support Group Circle

Okay....here are a few of the lessons I learned this week:

Support groups have MUCH value.

Faces are important.  So much is said in the eyes.

I don't have it as bad as some.

Those who have it really bad...need support and understanding.

Those who don't have it as bad.... need support and understanding.

There but for the grace of God go I.

Unholy judgement has no place in a RAD support circle.

There but for the grace of God go I.

The problem is large...bigger and broader...very large.

In general....school systems suck.

In general....advice from books suck....at least in the long run.

(this and that/tidbits here and there might work...switch it up when advice is obviously getting you and your kid/family nowhere...in other words....do not get your mind stuck in one theory/method.)

In general.....expect backlash.

In general....expect judgement.

Acknowledgement is necessary.

Shame is destructive.

There but for the grace of God go I.

Find one or two trustworthy intimates and ask for/accept help.

Attend as many support groups as possible.

You are not alone.

Your advancements encourage others...so share them.

We all have failures.

Never give up.

For those who do....in general....they have VERY good reasons and DO NOT judge them.

 

Talapia Flake/Crumb?

Adopting Again

A reader has asked us if we would consider adopting again with the challenges we've had.   And if we had, how had it worked and what advise we can give?

We have actually been talking about this a great deal lately.  It is such a hard decision.  I know the tension in my home and what I feel my other children are missing out on because of the high maintenance challenges of this child.  It is hard already.  The road ahead seems long and mountainous.  

However, that being said, I cannot say that I would not adopt again.  It would have to be the prompting of the Holy Spirit--as with all adoptions.  And if it was His prompting, then it is as it should be for all of the members of our family.

Adoption is a beautiful, redemptive, awesome thing.  Where would my attaching kids or my struggling to attach kid be without it?  I cannot imagine avoiding adopting out of fear of further challenges or what it would rob the yet to be home child.... essentially of the unknown.  My Savior knows the unknown.  He is not a God of confusion.  If you are to step out again, He will let you know.