Saturday, August 15, 2009

Eye Contact

Across the board, eye contact--or the lack thereof---is always an issue for our kiddos. It is just too intimate. My little one will look anywhere except my eyes. Eyebrows, nose, cheeks, ears..... sometimes it seems to be in my eyes but there is a glaze. It is like she is unfocusing her eyes to not have to be in the moment with me.

I have started doing something a little odd. Bu hey, you have to get creative with these kids!! So I thought I would share it with you in the off chance it might help someone out there. When she is looking in my eyes, or saying she is, I move ever so slightly from the left and right. If her eyes track with mine, I know she is not glazing over. Once I know we have eye contact, we can address intimately the challenge, need, pain or lesson before us.


Anonymous said...

Interesting about moving back and forth. I tend to try to lift my daughter's chin up to me, but she absolutely hates it - fights me - strong neck to push it back/hold it down - usually when she is being confronted when she's in trouble - not so much an issue with normal conversation.

Sometimes I also squat down or pull her onto my lap and put our faces real close (even noses and foreheads touching) so she can't look away.

Sometimes I have her repeat things without looking away but it takes several times, because she'll usually look at my shirt or shoulder or something. She'll say she is looking at me, but not in my eyes...

brenkachicka said...

Interesting. My 7 year old has autism, so the lack of eye contact from my attachment challenged 4 year old does not bother me so much.

Simply Moms said...

Exactamundo. Especially today. ugggggghhhhh!

FIRST thing to go.


Ashley Thalman said...

I have RAD and I am a 29 year old adult. Thank you for this blog. It is really helping me deal with my RAD.