Monday, September 13, 2010


I think most potential adoptive parents would read a book or see a checklist like this and be so shocked by #'s 17, 24 & 27. So shocked maybe that they close the book or website, say I'm adopting a baby/toddler, this won't apply to me and ignore the rest. Unfortunately, that will lead to behavioral modification now and later and not really get to the core heart issue.

Someone that was suppose to meet my needs didn't.

Someone I knew and maybe loved is missing.

Someone sinned against me.

Sometimes these issues are so subtle at first. Then 2, 3, 5 years later the behaviors are out of control. I'll give you some of my 'subtle' examples that have led to a great deal of relational damage now over 2 years into healing.

~steals small things. treasures of sisters, change, earrings. Hides them. Throws them away. Nothing of financial impact. Things that have clearly been identified as not hers.

~crazy lying. hits wall and makes a loud noise to wake up siblings. Groggily and grumpily siblings ask why she woke them up. She says, I didn't do it. You did. In your sleep. (Dawn also had girlie break a siblings toy and blame it on the immobile newborn baby. LOL)

~poor peer relationships. she is not a bully or dishonoring. but she does not seek out friends. she then will push peers away by doing things like not speaking clearly or loudly enough.

~incessant chatter. she will recite and re-recite movies quotes over and over and over and over. to no one in particular

~receiving love-will never make eye contact and will be rigid when being held.

Now, I also have a lot of overt crazy behaviors going on here. But just something to chew on. . .

Do the checklist. Maybe when you video. And then do them both in 6 months.
RAD treatment