You are the One

This is hard. It feels impossible at times. But you are the one God chose to be his/her mommy. At every turn it can feel like she does better for every other person in your life but you. She does. An overly helpful, charming, dollbaby for others and hard, grumpy, dishonoring, disobedient and manipulative with you. Incident after incident of others perceiving her to be angelic and that nothing could possibly be wrong with her, leaves you broken. It is disheartening and the temptation creeps in. . .

maybe she would do better with someone else.

maybe it's me

maybe she just doesn't like me

maybe if XX was her mom, she would be happy

BUT those are lies. It is your love and intimacy that feel threatening to her. Your love literally overwhelms her. It is too close and you have seen all her tells. You can call her out on her stuff. It is scary and vulnerable for her.

If she went somewhere else, she would be okay for awhile. Then the honeymoon would be over and her behaviors would show. The next "mom" would feel helpless too.

It isn't you.

You did not make her a sinner.

You did not put these wounds on her heart.

BUT you were called. God decided that you would be the best mom to her. With all of your short comings and failures. He would use you to minister to this child. He would use you to show this child a glimpse of His love. He would use this child to grow and shape you into Jesus. He would use this child to draw you closer to His heart and help you attach to Him.

So put away those lies. You are in a covenant with her. It is forever. He will equip you for the task He's called you to. He loves you both more than you can imagine. He is in the business of restoration, reconciliation and healing. It does get better.