You have to get them talking. They have to hear their inner
dialogue out loud. Countless times I have then heard RADish say, "oh,
that's weird." or "that doesn't make any sense" or "I think that but it
can't be true."
Two consistent questions in my world right now:
Who
are you REALLY mad at? Sin will continue against family members until she can
figure out why she is mad and who she is frustrated with. You can't ask
why, but you can ask Who? At some point, I hope she will be able to
articulate her anger with people in Haiti. She needs to acknowledge it
and move on. She isn't ready for that yet though. She will say she knows
she is mean to me to punish me for what they did, but she won't
actually move the anger towards the sin. Eventually, she will say she is
mad at herself or mad at God. I am okay with these answers. It gets
her off of attacking us and helps take responsibility for her choices. I
am also okay with her being pointed to wrestle it out with God. He can
take it and it forces her to deal with sovereignty of God.
The second:
What is it that you want? For YEARS, she would say "nothing."
Really?? Nothing?
"Well, I want to go to the bathroom."
(lofty goal!) What? Just go to the bathroom.
"Oh. that is weird. I bet kids don't say that."
Now, finally (like in the last couple of weeks) she will say normal kid things like play outside or play on the iPad. That I can work with. . . . . .
What does your RADish cling to in their inner monologue?
Monday, January 21, 2013
Inner Dialogues
Posted by Simply Moms at 8:24 PM
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2 comments:
I can relate to this! As my daughter's "safe" person, I not only am the one who gets her pointed anger directed at me, but I am also the recipient of her greatest love and affection, as well as her greatest sorrow.
Mine clings to her life as a big question mark. She's even obsessed about the symbol by saying that she wants it on her senior ring. She said she'd like to change her middle name to that symbol, and wants to order a special design for a tshirt with nothing but that on it.
I've tried to reassure her that her life has meaning, that the Lord had no question in his mind where he put her and who she is. Helping her discover that is hard, because she believes nothing more except she is one big question mark.
She has begun recently to verbalize the fact that she doesn't know what to do with her life....ahhh now this makes some sense.
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