Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Surprise Them!

I have had 4 birthday parties for my kids this year. 2 of the 4 were surprises. Now in regular world that is awesome, fun and exciting. In a struggling to attach world, it is too. It is also completely intentionally preventing sabotage. Someone else's birthday is overwhelming for a Radtastic. It is hard to not be the center of attention, selfless and see someone else be loved. It is tenfold that to have the attention on HER! The anticipation of what a party or event will be like or how they will feel or how people love them enough to plan for her, is just too much to handle. It will cause drama before and after the event. I saw this with the first party-not a surprise. So if you know you'll have to help them process the emotion of the event afterwards..... prevent the lead up drama by not telling them. Both times we had great days despite them not being prepared.

That being said I am all about predictability and structure. They know about the things that happen every day or every week. (Bible Studies, lessons, service). We also daily have regular meals, naps, etc. This is just something that has helped us with those special, super-disregulating, emotionally-charged days.

Doesn't really work for Christmas. Not only is every store decorated by November 1, but if you want to celebrate Advent, the anticipation is building for 24 days! That is a lot on their little hearts. Take everything slow. Say 'no' to more than you'd like to. If you have many things planned, spend lots of time resting, cuddling and relaxing when you aren't out and about. Pray for those little hearts. I don't think we'll ever know how much they are going through. Much love and a Merry CHRISTmas from our homes to yours!