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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Have You Looked In A Mirror Lately?

Here's an idea for your toolbox.

We haven't pulled it out in at least the last 12 months.......... and...due to it's get the job done effectiveness...only had to use it a handful of times.

When you are at home...or (GASP) out in public....and your child begins to embark on a downward spiral...losing eye contact....talking nonsense chatter at an annoyingly high volume etc......pretend you are a mirror.

With a straight face....mimic him/her. Do EXACTLY what they are doing...in the EXACT manner they are doing it....come what may...come hell or high water.

Wow, did this snap Girlie into reality. She hated it. But, got the point. Quickly.

Here's the thing...you have to be so committed to the well-being of your child that you are willing to let others in your community wonder if you need to be committed.

I'll never forget one night in particular. We were at a pizza place and I was staring at Girlie's chin saying, "I DON"T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN I'M NOT MAKING EYE CONTACT?!?!?!?!?! OF COURSE I"M MAKING EYE CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

At the same time, Dad was staring just above her eye.....at her eyebrow saying, "OF COURSE MOM IS MAKING EYE CONTACT AND SO AM I!!!!!!!!!!!"

Girlie wanted to crawl under the table.

The poor people in the next booth.

Our other kids ignored us and just kept eating.
________________________

I really think that most of these kids are unaware of the ridiculousness of their behaviours...until they see themselves in a mirror.

________________________

When she told us under her breath how embarrassing it was to have the people at the other table looking over at us.......we didn't coddle her.

"Yeah...your brothers and sisters probably know ALL about that, huh?"

Silence from Girlie.

"And by the way, maybe you should be more concerned with how you treat your parents and siblings...your actual family...than the strangers in the restaurant who you most likely will never ever see again .......and who most likely have troubles of their own and could care less about yours. How's about getting your own house in order and then, allowing the rest of the world to fall into place???????????"

Silence from Girlie.

Stares from the next booth.

The other kids just kept on eating.

btw.....

Watch out for "eyebrow contact"...or "corner of the eye eye contact." It's so subtle and oh so easy to miss.

4 comments:

Marci said...

We do that a lot with our 5 yo dd. I think it "bothers" or effects girls even more... they realize that is NOT how they want to be perceived by others.

I just need someone to do it to me every now and then too. :-)

Thanks for your honest blog! There are too few in adoption circles I am finding. We aren't "there yet"... as for adoption. But it is good to see reality as we venture there.

You are a great mom, keep it up!

Kerrie said...

Thank-you- this was very timely for me. My daughter's doing some (constant) very subtle defiance and some (constant)not-so-subtle reactions to being called on the defiance. I've been wracking my brain for something new.

Lori said...

Dawn we did this a lot when Maggie was younger and I filmed it too and quick play back for her to see her behavior in almost real time. This was also very useful to see the progress that was happening too.

Love you!
Lori

Acceptance with Joy said...

I know it's not really funny!! But I'm laughing and can't wait to try it out!!! Missy's been giving me a run for my money the last three weeks and I need new tactics. THANKS!!!
angela