Saturday, November 16, 2013

Weepy Saturday

All adopted children have experienced trauma.  Not all adopted children struggle with attachment issues.  When we set out on our adoption journey we hadn't a clue about RAD.

14 years later it still shocks me every single time I come across a couple who is in the process of adopting (many older children) with no knowledge of RAD.

Blows me away.

Too many families are dealing with it...for it not to be a topic of discussion in the ADOPTION WORLD.


Once...when the girls were younger...we chose to remove them from sitting under the authority of a "spiritual leader" due to the fact that this leader did not demonstrate in their own home  how to deal with adoption related issues in a Biblical manner.

We explained the issue to the girls...and although it was a choice that stung...they agreed with our decision and submitted under it.

Adoption is so a part of our family story.  It never occurs to us not to talk about it openly.

Our kids know about this blog.  They are free to read it if they desire to.

There is nothing said here that they do not or would not hear verbally.


A family we know of were recently in over their heads and needed help.  They have a strong support system but did not ask for assistance for some reason.  Things crumbled.  Entirely fell apart.   Behind closed doors.  Privately.

We are meant to share in good times and bad times.  Side by side.  Together. Weddings...births...homecomings...illness...loss...brokenness. 

The Lord is good and He has intervened but relationships are broken in a wake of wounds which remain.

These sorts of stories play out far too frequently.

And entire communities are affected.


This scenario could happen to any family.  We are all vulnerable.  We all need help.

We especially need help raising our children and are reminded of that every time we dedicate those children in front of our congregations.  Entire churches affirm their role in helping couples raise up their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord.  We promise to fill that very sobering role however the Lord leads us individually and corporately over varying seasons of those children's development and growth.

We all know of stories where families are burdened by piles and piles of medical bills.  Brothers and sisters rally around and help meet the needs of struggling families all the time.  And thru it...the Lord is glorified.


I'm pretty confident that every attachinghearts reader who is a believer knows of at least a handful of stories where adopting couples ask for help in raising funds to meet the costs of bringing their children home.   Communities made up of like-minded individuals come together and thru them...the Lord moves in wonderful ways.

It's not always easy for couples to ask for financial help though.

And it seems even more difficult for some to ask for help after the adoptions are complete and continued  help is needed.

What if hurting families humbly asked their communities (the same folks who helped bring the kids home) to support them in the ongoing care of those children...if and when the need arises?

Would you be willing to "tithe" to a couple who needed financial support for their hurting child?  To help fund things like therapy or stays in treatment facilities.... etc?

Could there be a special elder fund for circumstances such as these?  

It would be very inappropriate for the church to ask the church to rise up and be a solution to the ORPHAN CRISIS and then not come alongside those who do rise ....if a crisis manifests in a home as a result.

If our friend's child were born many of us would not learn sign language?

If one needed a kidney...would we not run at full speed to see if we were a match?

Or a transfusion.  Would we not donate pint after pint of many pints as the doctors would allow if we were found to be a match?

Do we raise funds for Specialized Wheel Chair Drives?

Do we have Yard Sales and Car Washes and Bake Sales to fund the cancer treatments of children in our churches?

How many meals have we prepared and delivered to families with exhausted new Moms of healthy children?

If a family with a special needs child or an adoptive family w/ a struggling child/children were desperate for respite care...might we be willing to be trained so that we could be of help?

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.        Galatians 6:2 


I go through seasons of being led to write here...and then not being led at all.  And all these months of silence go by.  Today I am weepy.  So so so burdened to write down what's going on in my heart.  

It will forever stand out in my mind as Weepy Saturday.