Friday, November 7, 2014

Attachment & Marriage...also Vulerability

Some good thoughts in this article.  

How I wish everything attachment related was filtered through a Biblical worldview though.  

The adults I know who have struggled with or are struggling with attachment issues...bring those struggles into every one of their relationships.... eventually.

To one degree or another...they struggle in their their workplaces...their communities...with their siblings and family of origins...with their children...and with their spouses & in-law families.

Some relationships really bring out the ugly.'s the more intimate ones.  The ones that dig deep & push past the surface.  The ones that are more difficult to manage...the ones that have the capacity to trigger fear on some level. 

This attachment thing is like a big flippin' merry-go-round...or a roller coaster.  You ride the ride ..... till you've had enough and decide to get off.  

Before you can must recognize that you are not well & in need of healing. 

We all bring wounds into our marriages.  Many of those struggling with attachment bring deeply buried ones into theirs.   If that's follows that the struggles spill over into the in-law families.   Mother & father-in-laws are affected.  Aunts and uncles are affected.  Cousins are affected.  Grandparents are affected.   Generations suffer. 

Unrighteous judgmental attitudes...harshness...unforgiveness... bitterness...persecution complexes...manipulation...control's all fear based.  Fear of losing control.  Fear of vulnerability.  Fear of being known.  Fear of being fully known...and fully loved.

For the one struggling, the need to control their environment is so fierce (feels like a life or death battle) that everyone in close proximity suffers. 

It's a hot mess.

And it's a sin issue.

The closer we walk with the Lord...the more our attachment struggles disappear.

Those who are struggling to attach might appear to be struggling to attach to a person/s...but it's really a battle with the Lord that is being waged.

It's HIS battlefield.  He's chosen the participants.  

As believers...we are required to engage according to His rules of warfare.

Anything else...brings HIM dishonor. 

The Power of Vulnerability