Monday, February 23, 2015

Attachment Struggles & The Bible

Over the years...I have come up against non Biblical responses to to this issue of ATTACHMENT STRUGGLES.

Such responses have come directly and indirectly.  Some were to be expected.  Others were complete surprises.

Such responses have come from acquaintances, dear friends, and intimate family members.  All were well-intentioned, I trust ...yet short-sighted and misguided. All of the non-Biblical responses were fear based. 

The most Biblical responses I've gotten in professional settings were from four individuals.  One, was a pediatrician...two of them came from secular counselors (believe it or not)....and one of them, a Christian counselor.

All three identified this particular issue our family wrestles with as valid.

The pediatrician offered a listening ear.  Calm during storms.  Truth regarding possible options for help (she warned us about the huge $ making world of "therapy" and the rabbit holes they could often lead desperate people down.)   She was the first one to tell us we were in this for the long haul.  Two secular counselors listened long and hard to how we were going about walking out this difficult road and did something I appreciate greatly... they said, "This is your child.  Keep doing what you are doing.  We can take your money but we have no answers for you which trump the ones you are working with." 

I appreciated that SO much!

The Christian counselor...more or less said the same thing ($ was not involved)...but affirmed that, YES...we are to navigate with the Bible as our road map.  And a solid support system. 

Biblical truth walked out.  Biblical truth lived in the home.  Biblical truth lived in our community.

Last year we were faced with multiple challenging situations where the way in which attachment struggles were being played out in our circle of relationships challenged and eventually magnified & rooted more deeply the beliefs we hold sacred in our own home and our own hearts.

One adult...clearly affected by attachment struggles...attempted to steal peace in our home through center of attention...disruptive & manipulative behavior.  The Lord used this circumstance as a mirror for Girlie.  She recognized herself in this woman and did not like it one bit.  It was a good opportunity for the rest of us to evaluate what battles we are called to.  Who we are called to on this journey.  And to what extent.  

One small child was abandoned by a pastor and his wife.  This child was about to be thrown into the system when a family from the pastor's church rose up and adopted him...calling him their own.  The Lord used this situation to whisper hope to our hearts.  Though the flesh may fail...the Lord intervenes.  Without fail. 

I think I am most encouraged by the mom's I am hearing from who want desperately to honor the Lord with their choices in this struggle.  When an e-mail arrives...raw with honesty...brutal honesty...I gasp at the thought that the Lord sees all and knows all.  There is no hiding from we might as well open our hearts and let them bleed all over the place when breathing just isn't enough.  When a mom asks...can we meet for a while and just talk?  I need to vent.  I need advice.  When my offering of advice speaks to my own heart.  When she reminds me of something I had forgotten.  When I get a phone call saying this or that is what??????  Give me something.  ANYTHING! And I am able to say...try ABCD &E.  From experience.  From the trenches.   Because I know what frustration feels like.  And I know what banging my head against a wall feels like.  And I know what fear feels like.  And I know what knowing that GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION is like.

Battling attachment struggles in a Biblical manner calls for Biblical understanding and Biblical guidance.

This message.