In our experience, moments of growth and depth are always followed by days of turmoil. The breakthroughs..... when they come.....are obviously frightening. Things get off kilter. Control shifts. The frightened person grabs at and attempts to regain footing. Parents experience whiplash. Siblings experience whiplash. Things often get ugly even though we don't want them to. We repent. Hopefully our frightened person softens and repents too. And the family gets back on track.
There was no evidence of softening over here until a few hours ago....when I acted in opposition to what every bone in my body was screaming to do.....
YELL... YELL... YELL... CARRY ON... RANT & RAVE...NURSE MY WOUNDS AND HOLD A GRUDGE!!!!!!!!
....and obediently drew my girlie into an embrace and kissed and hugged..... and lifted her chin...... searching for and refusing to settle for anything less than deep eye contact. Then more kisses and a tighter hug. Eye contact. Tender voice.
"What's wrong?"..... I asked.
No answer.
Tears.
"Tell me what's really wrong? "Why are you crying?""
A hug back and more tears.
"I'm sad that I am sinning against you. And trying to go my own way. And doing this. Making life difficult. "
"I love you."
Another hug. Tighter.
"I love you too."
Oh Lord, please turn our hearts towards our children and turn their hearts towards us.
Tomorrow is a new day.
2 comments:
I see that same thing with Adam. He will have a good time with us maybe joining in game time or something like that. He has a lot of fun and then interacts. And I count on stubborness and total disobedience the next day. It's almost like, "Oh my goodness, I acted like part of the family. I'd better change that."
You are so right. My daughter's birthday was Monday and it was a HORRIBLE day for all. I wondered to myself, "Why am I doing this? It's not working." But then she and her siblings opened up to grow in some areas after the rage episodes ended. They are all doing better today and I think we made progress. I used your website and music to cuddle them with today and they loved it! The ten year old sat in my lap at the computer chair and we swiveled and rocked to the music. The teen boys danced across the living room with me while listening to the Matt Redman piece. I love your blog layout! It's soothing.Thanks for sharing.
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