Respite-encore

We would still love to hear some respite input!! What works, what doesn't.  I also want to know if those who use respite can answer how well it works.  Until then, we can all use a good laugh.  My husband sent me this today in the middle of a horrible, RADtastic tantruming day.

Summer Playdate

Interested in an upcoming playdate in the AZ area? please email us!

Tiny Weed Love

Respite

Recently my husband and I were challenged in regards to respite.  Specifically, that we aren't taking any.   The Lord took time to be with God, to rest, to be alone.  He sets an example of ministering to those that don't understand true love.  But it doesn't seem possible.  I think it is one way I feel like I am parenting a child with a disability.  I feel like I have a medically fragile child.  Sure, from the outside she looks like every other kid.  But the reality is she is vulnerable.  It is just emotionally.  We are parents that need special training, can't leave just anyone with her, are the primary caretaker 24 hours a day without break, that fear the condition may never improve, seek new techniques that may help but aren't readily accepted in the medical world, that are concerned with harm--maybe it is not the respirator failing that could cause damage or death, but the harm they can do to themselves certainly could, that have kids that cannot do what other children do-physically, socially, emotionally, that may never hear the sincere words I love you.  It is hard work.  You need a break.

Aside from moments of emergency/crisis, I can count on one hand the time my husband and I have been out together alone in the last year.  The reasons are manifold.  One, is free, licensed respite does not exist for children that came home internationally.  Second, the trusted circle around us has its own life/issues/challenges.  This makes calling on them regularly impossible.  Third, and most importantly, it is not worth it.  I know that sounds crazy--well crazy to people not dealing with it.  To you, beloved, you are just nodding your heads, I am sure.  We are not a child-centered family.  In. any. way.  We value our marriage.  We know that working on our marriage is essential-for us and for them! But seriously.  It is not worth it.  Even just a couple of hours away with a trusted family member leads to backlash and punishment from the little RADish for days.  It is almost like I would rather have "normal" crazy every day than a little break with super crazy for the rest of the week.  

We have put the children to bed and then gone out.  But it isn't always the easiest or the most convenient for schedules or energy.  But it is one choice, though, when someone is available to watch them.  People have said the more often they are left, the more they get used to it.  But that really scares me.  What are they getting used to, stuffing, trying to do on their own??

I think this is one of the crucial parts of parenting an attachment kiddo.  You do need a break.  not just as a Mommy, but as a couple.  Let's share ideas!!  What's worked for your family?

Ask

I've asked for compassion for my child and I have received it. I've asked for patience and He has provided it. I've asked for strength to carry me through and He has delivered it. I've asked for warm fuzzies and I've gotten them.

Ask Him to fill you up when you are depleted. When you have nothing left to offer. Ask Him.

Kids' Space

Kids' Space

I've had an idea floating around in my mind for a while now....and for some reason, I think the time might be right to articulate it here. Let's give our kids some space.

Kids who are struggling often feel alone....just like parents who are struggling tend to feel alone.

I'd like to create a space where kids who are struggling to attach or their siblings (RAD affects the entire family) can put their thoughts into words. A space where their images or artwork can be displayed. A space where they can safely express themselves and make attempts to be heard and understood. Anonymously.

Readers can send in their contributions. Please make sure you have your kid/s permission before posting.

All in an attempt to learn a little something from our children. All in an attempt to have our kids learn a little something from each other.

I think we should prepare our hearts for some beautiful and not so beautiful stuff.
Dawn