Girlie has gotten very good at identifying her feelings. It's taken a long time. She's had much practice.

Me: Yes, yes...so and so is true. You did do that. But I do not believe it is because of such and such like you are saying it is.

Multiply this scenario by 100 million times.... plus more....then some more. This is some of what life over the last 10 years has been like.

__________________________________________
We are currently in a good place.

Girlie: I did such and such because.....

This is when she is met w/my "don't even try to go there w/ your lame nonsense excuses..."all knowing/baloney detector" lOOk.....


Girlie: (loooooooooong pause)..............

....after a few minutes in a quite place to ponder..........

Girlie: I was feeling like I was going to blow it...(chuckling at herself)... so I blew it...(then realizing)...yeah ummm....that didn't go so well.

or

Girlie: I was worried because I knew you were going to read my essay and I didn't want to do a re-write which I knew you would make me do...(then realizing)....which of course I had to do so why not just do it w/out the drama?

or

Girlie: I had a lot to do and I was scared I wouldn't finish...(chuckling at herself)...which is what happened because I dragged it out and caused drama....which obviously didn't work for me at all.

or

Girlie: I know they think I'm the center of attention all the time (chuckling at herself)...so I acted like the center of attention...(then)...aaaaaaaand...obviously that didn't go so well and I proved them right.

Again, slow and steady.

Consistency.