Sunday, January 30, 2011

and more triggers....

Well, just after I got off the computer with you...I was handed a note by Girlie. She said she was sorry, kissed me, hugged me tight, and went to bed.

I was tired ...but truthfully, not too tired to read it right then and there. I did not read it.

Part of me was in self protection mode, I think. I do that sometimes. Delaying the revelation of what could turn out to be baloney until I am ready for another round.

I awoke this morning to my husband asking, "Did you read the note?"

There was no way I could put it off any longer.

I was right re: my educated trigger guesses. Both triggers were articulated. Clearly, transparently and with emotion.

There was another trigger though that I hadn't picked up on. Smack in the middle of all the frightening things we went through over here recently...Girlie had a check-up at the dentist. Our usual dentist knows her history well but wasn't there that day. Instead, we got a sweet, personable, funny older guy.

Dental road maps are very telling to those who know how to read them. He was obviously alerted...and perplexed to find evidences of...(insert confused look on dear doctor's face while he tries to put the puzzle pieces together)...

I jumped n and saved him.

"Girlie has a history of malnutrition."

The light bulb clicked on. His face registered understanding as he continued with the delicate conversation...fumbling here and there...but doing a great job overall.

Girlie did great too. She explained a bit about her history and some of her dental related insecurities.

I told her I was proud of her. She smiled and we left with no cavities!

Well, 10 days or so later...she lets me know in the note that she is bothered by her malnutrition, embarrassed about it's lasting effects and upset with the whole crappy circumstance in general.

Always...but especially when the spirals come...dig deep. Get them to articulate what's going on. If you cannot get then to say it out loud...give them opportunities to write or draw what is going on in their hearts and minds. And, be patient. It may take a while.