Friday, January 21, 2011

Not Alone

I don't know about you, but having a child with a disability that manifests itself in a textbook fashion is comforting to me. It does make me feel less crazy when I hear from Dawn that she is walking through almost the exact same thing at the same time. (Both our girls on the same day "forgot" how to do aspects of their lessons that they have mastered long ago). I can hang up the phone, take a deep breath and know that it's not my parenting. THIS is what a child with a broken spirit looks like. Sooo, I thought, if you don't have a Dawn ;) then maybe hearing a bit of ONE of my days would help you feel less crazy:

When she didn't get to skip a part in a lesson she didn't want to do, she went ahead 10 pages without doing the parts she didn't want to do. When told she would then erase the pages she didn't do in an honoring way, she literally took 1.5 hours to erase the pages.

she has impeccable hand writing. all day she wrote all of her capitol letters backwards

she forgot how to read and spent 20 minutes painfully trying to sound out the impossible word "turtle"

She put all of the laundry away in the wrong drawers

She wore winter boots with a sundress

When asked why she came out of her room in the morning, made eye contact with me and turned around and went back to her bed, she very seriously said, "I just don't want to be with you. I heard someone and thought it was Daddy. When I saw it was YOU, I went back to bed."
(mmmmm, that one is super. it feels all warm and fuzzy)

A scary thing happened to a friend last weekend. Not immediately, but hours after hearing about it, she smacked her sister in the face with a toy. Mind you she is not a toddler.

When she does eat, she drops food on the table or lets it fall out of her mouth. Because, don't you know it is super hard to keep food in your mouth while you're chewing.

and on and on and on

As we say on the sidebar, you probably aren't crazy. This child is wounded and petrified. God has placed the child in your family on purpose and for a purpose. YOU are the Mom God wants for this baby.


Country Girl said...

Mmmmm... VERY familiar! It is so hard though to KEEP the thoughts that I'm not alone IN my head day in and day out when everyone around you thinks you're nuts. Thanks for the reminder.

Mommy2five said...

oh how my heart aches for what you deal with on a daily basis. I am so sorry...lame i know, but truly feel like you are an angel. I pray for you, your family regularly. Blessings are you take one day at a time.

Katy said...

HUGS to you! Sounds very familiar despite the differences in my child's age (she is 4), and I know how hard it is to deal with...the other night one of her little friends came to give her a hug and she said "NO!" and pushed her down. It broke my heart, and then as soon as we drove away, she smiled and said "Mommy, I want to hug her now. I made her cry!" Um, too late....sigh. She usually smiles when people cry. :( It hurts my heart. I know exactly what you mean...was so glad to see several new posts today as I haven't checked in a little while. I know how hard it must be for you and I am thinking of you! Btw, on a positive note, Our Gotcha Day was this week and we read "God Gave Us You" Excellent book for young ones to recommend!