What Adoption Costs

What Adoption Costs...

...this post made me cry. 

Guest Blogger / Galilee

What is RAD?

RAD is sin.  It's core is pride.  Always thinking of oneself.  Selfishness.  One way attaching struggles shows itself is through controlling behavior.  RAD is hell, a burning pit full of fire.  It is a lack of trust.  It is anger.  It is habitual like an addiction that needs to be broken.


What's it like living with attachment struggles?

These struggles are sad, unpleasing, stressful, painful, lonesome, and frustrating.  The struggle can cause anger, hard-heartedness,  and bitterness in the person who is sinning and the people who are dealing with them.  

Why are you led to share your experiences with others?

Because it is the story God gave me.  I'm not ashamed to tell it.  I may help someone else who is going through the same struggles.   I am accepting my past/early life.  God gave me a life...my beautiful life.  Hopefully I can help others as I fight this battle with trust issues and learn to submit to HIM. 

All The Good Things

Yeah, the more any gracious heart is very active and busy in the work of God, so he is very active and busy in sanctifying God's name in the affliction that befalls him.

The difference is very clear:  The one whose disposition is quiet is not as disquieted as others are, but neither does he show any activeness of spirit to sanctify the name of God in his affliction.  But, on the other hand, he whose contentment is of grace is not disquieted and keeps his heart quiet with regard to vexation and trouble, and at the same time is not dull or heavy but very active to sanctify God's name in the affliction that he is experiencing.

-The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment

Oh this book!  It's so so so so good.

I think we all know how to buck up and put on a happy face.  We have all...at one time or another...made decisions to present a picture to the world that says "we are okay"...because gasping for air....or moaning...or sobbing...just doesn't seem appropriate.   At the core... we are much  "more Godly" than that.  

What would people think if we were honest?  Completely honest.

What if they knew that we doubted God?  That we doubted His goodness? 

Been there done that.  

The facade can only stand so long.

Our actions betray us.  Inside our homes.  Our family knows.  Our intimates know.   They so know.

Then...if we are saved...by grace...the Lord brings us to face to face with Himself.

He deals with us.   And more often than not... we fight Him.  Because His dealings with us seem unfatherly. 

Then...sometimes in a moment...and sometimes after a long season...we see.  Our eyes are opened.

And we can tell of HIS goodness & all the good things we have been shown. 

Contentment

It (contentment) is not opposed to making in an orderly manner our moan and complaint to God, and to our friends.  Though a Christian ought to be quiet under God's correcting hand, he may without any breach of Christian contentment complain to God. As one of the ancients says, Though not with a tumultuous clamour and shrieking out in a confused passion, yet in a quiet, still, submissive way he may unbosom his heart to God.  Likewise, he may communicate his sad condition to his Christian friends, showing them how God has dealt with him, and how heavy the affliction is upon him, that they may speak a word in season to his weary soul.


The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment
-Jeremiah Burroughs

We are so thankful for our friends who speak a word in season ...not only to our weary souls but to Girlie's as well.  They are a cherished gift.

Hand Held Devices & Attachment

Attachment/RAD in the news.  This article.

 

Post.

Triggers = Opportunities

Russia is in the news.  Not in a good way.

Just hearing about a shot down passenger jet...war zone air space...the Russian invasion of a sovereign nation ...ears perk up around here.

When one of our kids stated dancing around the living room...singing a song celebrating the fact that she is not illegal but an actual American citizen and no longer there but here....I knew it was time to initiate a conversation. 

One of our adopted children came home from Russia.  The other from Kazakhstan.  Both countries are currently closed to foreign adoptions. 

Possibly forever.

Last night we talked about the sovereignty of our trustworthy Lord in making us a family when he did.  How His ways are perfect.  How His timing is perfect.

The Lord does not get ahead of Himself.  Nor does He tarry.   

How He is ultimately in control of the closed countries.  Of the leaders.  Of the kids.

How His plans will not be thwarted by man.   Not ever.

How He ...not we...plucked our kids out of the hell holes they were in and planted them forever in our hearts and in our family.

How nothing any member of our family ever does or could ever do...would absolve us from the  responsibility of us being a family or fulfilling our God-given roles within our family unit.   Even if our feelings went against our call.   Even if circumstances threatened or complicated the walking out of the call.  And how oftentimes...blood is not the binding matter when families are concerned. 

And then...when we examine our salvation!!!!!!  With thanksgiving and an overwhelming sense of humility we walk in the knowledge that nothing we ever did or could ever do...deserved such a magnificent & tangible picture of redemption to enter our lives.

Adoption.

It takes my breath away. 

Control

One of the most difficult things to deal with when dealing with an individual who has attachment struggles is the level of control they attempt to exert over those with whom they interact.

Controlling behavior is not always easily recognizable.

Oftentimes it's subtle.

And...highly manipulative.

I honestly believe that when we see someone trying to control us or others...we are to confront the behavior head on.

He/she attempts to control the narrative.  Attempts to divide, isolate, and alienate.  Attempts to  rule by emotion or lack of emotion.  Hides in plain sight.  Plays the victim.  Distracts w/distress. Or...remains utterly aloof. Untouchable.  Unmovable. A fortress.  Impenetrable.

Call it out.

So that it can be rooted out.

It's ALL About Relationship

This article contains good info.  

As a home-educator who has managed our own home's classroom with 5 students and as a home-educating co-op teacher of classes which have varied in size up to a dozen or so students....I encourage you to get out of the box when it comes to cookie cutter education.

Academic education...arts education...behavioral education...emotional education...spiritual education...

Each and every one of us is woven together differently by a Master Weaver.

The goal is discovering what the Weaver had in mind when HE charged you with stewardship over His creation.

Home-Education post.   

Define Love re-post

I am led to re-post today. 

Define Love. 

The Miraculous Grace of Acceptance

This article.  Oh, this article!

Some struggles will be life long struggles.  No matter how much we'd like to think otherwise...they will be.  

Not always.  But sometimes.

And if this is the case for you and your family...take courage.  Every little thing has passed through the throne room of the Lord.  He has a purpose in it.

For our good and His glory. 

This boy...

...found him over on fb and he touched my heart today.

Faith

Simplicity

I like this article. 

I recently asked our two daughters...adopted from overseas at 4.5 and 3.5 what their earliest memories were.

Neither had memories of their orphanages which was very interesting to me...since my earliest memory is from a day when I was three.

It's so fascinating that they have no memories until years after they came home.   Like no memories.

One daughter...(not Girlie)  said this..."I know I had a good childhood with you...I just don't remember it."

Keep it simple.  Live life with family and a close-knit circle of friends.

I think this goes a long way in providing security for little hearts. 

When they feel safe...they are able to relax.  Then thrive.

And remember all the memories being created. 

Fathers

Most of the time...it's the moms who get the hardest hit. Day in and day out.

I thank the Lord that He has seen fit to give our daughter my husband as her father.

When I am unable...he does what needs to be done.

When I am unwilling...he does the hard thing.  The difficult thing.

When I am unresponsive...he responds.

When I've had enough...when I've given up... He moves in to take up the task at hand and then he leads me to a better place.

This article has lots of people crying over on fb.

It's cuz it's so lovely. 

I know many men who are fathers to those who were once other men's children.  It's so lovely.  It's so beautiful.  It's so amazing.  And touching.  And inspiring. 

Now I'm crying. 

"He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse."  Malachi 4:6

Just a Few

Have you recruited friends to come alongside you on this journey?

Early on...we let one couple in.  The  one couple who knows everything.  All the details.

Then a few more.   Not many.  Just a few.

They pray when we are too weak to pray.  They pray when we are too angry to pray.  They pray when we are to afraid to pray.  They pray when we are apathetic and have no desire to pray.

Girlie knows this.

They pray for us and for her.

They speak truth into our lives and into her life.

They love us and they love her.

They fight for us and they fight for her.

They know she is a blessing and a gift.

They know we are too.

They remind her.   They remind us.

I am ever so thankful for them.