Monday, September 1, 2008

Own Language

Attaching is all about establishing the intimate circle.  What is the difference between you as Mom versus every other kind lady?   Here's another idea from our house.  We have our own words for things.... for kisses, for hugs, for cuddles.  Some are in our girls native tongue, others just goofy things we say.  Some is intentional for bonding, some is just family culture....which is attaching, too.  You only get bo-bo's, squishes, pinkies and snugglebugs from Mommy and Daddy. Other people just get high fives and hugs.


rachel said...

I have been following this blog for awhile and am greatful for all the little tips. I am considering therapy for one of my children and I am curious if there is anything about the typical Nancy Thomas stuff that you would consider unscripural? Do you have any of your children in therapy? Why or why not, if I may ask.
I am not asking with any ill intent, but please feel free to answer that question as you wish. I just don't want to get into something that is not God-honoring. And I do not have a husband to guide me :)
How do you feel about techniques like neuorofeedback, or crainial sacrul therapy?
Thank you so much!

Simply Moms said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Simply Moms said...


I am not an expert by any means....just a mom trying to be with that said, take everything with a grain of salt.

I feel that if you are led to try something...and you are not getting a "red flag" from the Holy Spirit about it....then give it a go. Be willing to stop if you grow uncomfortable.

We have not done neurofeedback. It was never suggested and we've never inquired. Our pediatrician is ambivilent about rapid eye movement therapy. A local attachment therapist is ambivilent as well. We asked and were not led in that direction.

We do not medicate. Never inquired. It's never been suggested. Mind you...we do not deal with violence, agression, unmanageable hyperactivity, depression many families out there do.

We don't do chiropractors over here....because two of us (bio) have inherited conditions and we've been sworn off them by our neuro surgeons. But if it works for you.....I say....go for it.

As far as therapy red flags go up when things start sounding "new agey" and self focused. Because of the way that I have been spiritually gifted....I seem to have a heightened sensitivity to things like this.

Now, a Biblical counselor w/attachment insights....that's a wonderful thought. Not a Biblical therapist who will pray for the bondage to be broken in the name of JESUS!!!!!! A therapist who will tenderly and firmly lead my girlie to the foot of the who will teach her that not trusting her a deep rooted symptom of her not trusting the Lord who so lovingly knit her together in her birth mother's womb...all the way across the world in Russia. One who will say...."Yes, you are afraid...filled with fear in fact....and now that is on it's way to being finished. The Lord called your father and your mother to adoption. He placed you in their path and them in yours and now, You will be loved.... and loved.... and loved.... and loved here on this earth...with the hope that one day...your current fear will be replaced by the fear of the Lord."

We have no idea where to look for a counselor like that. So we live, love, dig in deep and try to learn and teach the lessons we are being shown.

Let the Spirit lead. He will show you what therapies/methods are for you. He loves you.

He loves us. He loves our kids. We are all individuals and there are no "one for all" answers when He deals with His children.

I will pray for Him to give you wisdom as you search out help and make decisions.

Dawn :)

Simply Moms said...

Hi Rachel,
Thank you for your questions!! I am so glad Dawn shared here. Sorry I didn't reply. I have been on vacation. I think the biggest concern I have with all typical methods is that they do not bring it to a focus of Christ. I am familiar with Nancy Thomas' books. I think she has some great strategies. But just like other relationships/challenges/therapy, unless we take that next step (or first step, rather) of focusing our children on Christ it is all fruitless and surfacey.

If you do not have the gift of discernment, I think it is important to ID the sin behind the action and the Scripture behind the method. (e.g. wanting the glory vs. Christ having the glory; Honor your mother and father.)
Don't hesitate to ask if something isn't expounded upon!