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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Phileo 2

Cate's last post is crucial...in my humble opinion.

An absolutely crucial concept for Christ following parents of kids struggling w/attachment to acknowledge (if present), grasp, and pursue resolution to.

I will never forget the moment of clarity...years into our struggle.... when I realized that what was missing on my end wasn't an agape love....but a (click here)PHILEO love.

That natural affinity towards another person. That "brotherly" love which so often comes organically....and ever so naturally.

It's not that it had never existed.

It was there. For sure. But it had retreated ...hidden itself behind protective walls after being mocked, torn down...spit on...kicked...taken advantage of and abused. Feelings of phileo love had disappeared.

(It was very similar to a dark and troubled time in our marriage when it was as if all hints of phileo love and eros love had vanished into thin air.)

On Girlie's end...both types of love...phileo and agape were missing.

Girlie might've.... possibly.... had a phileo love for me/us...but it was was not manifested, communicated or received as such.

Agape love on her part?????? No Holy Spirit...so no possibility of it's authentic existence.

Yes.... Lord, grant us phileo love when our hearts fail us....all the while supplying us with a never ending overflowing fountain of agape love.

It is our desire that we would love our sons and daughters...those you have entrusted into our care...as You would have us love them. Help us to be good stewards of these good and precious gifts You have given.

3 comments:

Bill and Christina said...

Thank you sooo much Dawn for this post.

Christina

BeckyJoie at Leaders in Learning said...

What a great perspective to bring into parenting RAD! Thanks, Dawn.

andykiara said...

Thank you for these thoughts. Oh, how we need God's grace as we love on our little ones through the emotional roller coasters they (and we!) live on.