Monday, July 6, 2009

What is a Mommy?

I talked a bit last year about the seemingly emptiness of the word Mommy as it rolls off a little RADtastics lips.  At times it feels like everything is so fake.  So I started asking my little darling the same question every couple of months:
What is a Mommy?
For a very, very, very long time the only answer I got was "gives me clothes" or "makes me food."
Now I don't discredit that answer completely.  (especially if your child was malnourished or worse--food could = love)  BUT it was clearly incomplete.  Your social history may be different, but for us, I was able to say, "Hmm, but the nannies in the orphanage gave you clothes to wear, right?" or "the nannies at the orphanage gave you food, right?"  "What does a Mommy do?"
Over time and hearing her siblings answers, she will now say "gives me snuggles, kisses me, helps me, teaches me, etc.  I don't know how much of it has really sunk in, but at least floating in her mind is the truth that there is something special about our relationship.... about having one of these Mommy-deals of your very own.


Greg's Wife said...

Great idea for a question! I'm stealing it!

BeckyJoie at Leaders in Learning said...

Good points. My boys are starting to see me as something more than the maid. They're not really expressive though in that area. I will take cues from you and ask more questions like these to get them thinking. Another thing I've noticed recently is that they no longer refer to past parents are Mama Perez or whatever. They are saying, "My previous foster parents" and I've slowly morphed from being Mama to Mom to Mommy. It's backwards for some but my teens call me "Mommy" often these days.

The Gang's Momma said...

What a great blog. I found you through "Greg's Wife" and am going to have to dig in and read back. We're home with our Li'l Empress for almost 10 months and I am always on a quest to learn more! Thanks for the safe place that this appears to be for moms.

Simply Moms said...

It is so important for them to talk out what they've been through and how you are promising to care for them forever. How will they ever start to draw lines of what a forever kind of love it?

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