Kid's Prayer Request

I have been angry with God. I have used his name in vain and I have mocked Him. I admit it was totally a bad example and not only that but it was also wrong. I was worried that He wouldn't forgive me for that, but my Mom explained that my version of God is obviously little. It hit me as true. I was making up a little God when the real God is so big. I am writing about this because I am a Christian who needs prayer about the Lord having Lordship over me. My understanding of the Lord is that he is a Saviour but I don't know if I understand the true meaning of Lordship. I have been angry with God for the last 10 years. I've been processing my history in a negative way instead of a positive way. I have been dwelling on the negatives and that has made me bitter. It is hard to allow the Lord to have Lordship over me when I haven't been trusting Him. I've realized that I haven't allowed Him to work through me. The bottom line is that I need to let the Lord renew my mind. Specifically, I need prayer for allowing myself to trust.