Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Throne Room

We all come with scars, wounds, baggage etc. Some carry heavier loads than others.  The Lord may be using our kids RAD to break them of themselves and draw them to Himself.  It's not without His knowledge that they have RAD, right? It has passed through the throne room....and He has said in so many words, "I will allow it."  And.... the kids who come home and adjust well...attaching and bonding deeply...and all of our bio kids who have had good starts....he might choose to draw them in different ways...according to His purposes and His will for their lives. Among other things....He used marriage trouble, the death of a close friend, relationship heartbreak, financial and career woes and miscarriages to get my attention. Maybe He's using RAD to get my daughter's attention?  RAD cannot be easy on these kids.  It must be a painful and lonely life....trying to live it all alone, constantly alienating those around her, and being afraid to trust.  

My problem is that I am a sinning human.  I am not always trustworthy.  In my own fear, frustration,  and disappointment...I falter.  I get off track.  I sometimes make it difficult for my daughter who has had trouble trusting... to trust me.  That's when I repent and say, "Oh, Lord...please take my repentance over my sinful reactions and use it for your glory."  Then, with absolute conviction and assurance I can rest because, "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose."  

The Lord is able to use all of it...

....our tender loving care....our consistency....our gentleness and our brokenness before our children after we yell, scream, and carry soften hearts.  

My job is to be a trustworthy mother who prays without ceasing  for the salvation of my children...and for wisdom & strength to accomplish the tasks placed before me each day with patience and compassion. 

Jesus is the Deliverer....the one who removes the chains that bind.  

He is the Great Physician...the one who heals wounded hearts.  

Even the the chains and wounded hearts which grew deep gnarled roots in the weed infested gardens of early childhood trauma, abuse, or neglect.   


Anonymous said...

Thank you for starting this blog. Our newest children, who have been in our home for such a short time, are struggling deeply. I am, too. I am overwhelmed, heart-broken, stretched to the limit, and totally dependant on God to get through each day. (Not a bad thing, I guess! :) The good HOURS are not even a daily occurrence. Thank you for giving me a place where I can read, be encouraged, and feel less alone. This post really hit home for me. ~Kiara