Thursday, August 28, 2008

Lord, Lord

This Sunday, the pastor led us in a study in 1Peter 2:1-6. There was a strong reminder of the narrow path... the one way to the Lord. My mind could not help but drift to the passage of Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven."
Then, of course, my mind was led to the emptiness in my daughter's voice most times when she says, "Mommy, mommy." It feels so fake, so forced. Often when I bring up attachment in adoption circles, I hear oh, he knows I'm his mom. Or she knows who she goes home to. Hmm, I wonder if the child thinks that is her name-Like Nanny Mary or Mrs. Smith. Does she have a concept of what a mother is or who that is to be? A child struggling to attach certainly doesn't understand the way you pursue him or nurture him or want his best. He doesn't understand what a mommy is. I just don't want to assume the calling of a name really equals a relationship. Some of us have the raging, overt kiddos. Others, the subtle manipulative ones that may not be as far along as they appear to be.
Oh, Lord, my Lord, tonight please prick our hearts, lay bare the motives and reveal the truth in the relationships we are striving to have with our children. We want authenticity in everything, Lord, not just in the actions.


Christine said...

It is really difficult when you get the sappy, "Hey Moooooom!" and a fakey hug (no real embrace, just patting behind your back) when you're in public. Then someone says, "That is so sweet. They've really bonded to you."

You have to just nod and smile. Yet, you know that it had nothing to do with love and bonding. You know that, in fact, you child must have been in such a state of fear that they needed to know they had control over the emotions of the adults in the room.

It's just ... hard.

Unspeakable Joy said...

yep, hard! boy we sure can relate to God in this verse! and feel bad about it for sure!