Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Heart Change

I am breathless ....genuinely breathless...with the knowledge of how intimately our Lord walks with us. I promise you....without being able to see him physically or hear Him audibly....He is at my side today whispering to me. Maybe more like talking in a normal voice.... for I'm not straining at all to hear Him. He is being very, very clear.

Lately...over the last month...I have been more deeply processing the lessons I am being taught while dealing with multiple attachment challenged relationships in my life...and maybe being given new passion for the battlefield... or simply fresh articulation skills.

After a long conversation with my husband this morning... and the recent turning over in our brains of the very same ideas again and again with ----, I am convinced more than ever that the world would have us deal with attachment challenges  in a worldly way but that the Lord would have us deal with it in an entirely different manner.

We are all scarred individuals. Each and every one of us. We all haul baggage around with us ...granted some drag heavier loads than others...but it's baggage just the same...until the burdens are lifted. I think of John Bunyan's fair young pilgrim, Christian and am reminded of this very truth.

Pavlov's Theory. In a nutshell....behaviorists would have us believe that if you change the change the behavior. For instance, a neglected child can be taken from a non ideal environment and placed into an ideal environment and because of the change....we can expect to see true and lasting change. We all know that this theory does not always pan out. There are many people who are confronted with love....true love...and never accept it or reciprocate.

We are not after behavior modification. The Bible tells us that the only true change grows out of a heart change. We are after heart change.

As parents of children w/attachment struggles......we can try until we are blue in the face to provide safety....provide be present... (all good things) but it's not until the Lord softens the heart of a hurting individual...that any of it it will add up to a hill of beans.

The problem with the enemy is that He is skilled at using our wounds, weaknesses, struggles & challenges against us.

Sad, lonely, frightening, abusive, highly dysfunctional childhoods.....not easy or pretty...I agree.

Add that to our problem of being wretched sinners who follow after the evil desires of our own hearts...and we have a greenhouse with perfect soil conditions and temperature..... for trust and control issues to thrive.

Parents, as the stewards of the flowers in our particular garden ...we must consistently work at removing the weeds which threaten our buds. Digging them out at the roots....cutting off their supply of nourishment and focusing on the health of the young shoot before us. But if we think we can grow those young shoots...we are mistaken. We do not have that kind of power.

It is the Lord who breaks through a non-trusting, fearful, disobedient, self serving, self protecting heart.  Not Mommy. Not Daddy. Not siblings. Not grandparents. Not a therapist. Not a pastor. Not a teacher or a friend or a doctor. He can use people to prepare the soil, plant, and water the seeds...but ultimately, He must be the Surgeon who performs the surgery and the Physician who heals the wounds.

Point hearts to the Lord. I'm convinced all else is vanity.

By the way, this stuff translates to every believer's life. At one time or another we were all unattached children...estranged from our Father in Heaven...who was every step of the way waiting patiently while running towards us with outstretched arms.


Melissa said...

Awesome post! Thanks!